Written by: Ruminator
You know you’ve grown both as a student and a person when you no longer feel the pangs of bittersweet disappointment in your gut clawing its way towards your heart every time you perform sub-par in a test.
My parents are trying to pressure me into dropping two subjects. I’ve currently got Pure Math, Business, Economics, and Accounting. So what they proposed is that I would draw 2 pieces of paper from inside a box containing 4 pieces of paper. Written on each folded piece of paper would be the name of the subject I would potentially retain provided I picked that one.
As life would have it I drew Pure Math and Business the two very subjects my parents would have had me forgo. Is life sending me subliminal messages? Do I even believe in that kind of stuff?
All of this has got me thinking, and I’ve decided to stick it out till the bitter end…
I’ll try, I’ll fail, End of story… or is it now?
It helped that I only managed to get 2 hours sleep yesterday so I was too lethargic to consider what it meant to get 44% in a quiz. I don’t think that I could even load the appropriate emotional response given my somnolent state of mind and sleep deprived disposition. Just as well.
^ if only that were true, I’m far too busy to be of that temperament.
The Teacher was considerate enough to take a minute or two after class and explain to me that it wasn’t my inability to understand the subject matter which had led to these dismal grades, but because I had learned too much in advance for someone in my grade and used content not included in the syllabus to base my arguments on so he was unable to award any marks. For the umpteenth time, I was gunned down by the terrific marksman known to us all as ‘the mark scheme’.
I wonder how I fit into the grand scheme of things, but I certainly know that I’ve not earned a place in the mark scheme.
It was only a matter of time until my atypical train of thought was robbed blind and beyond help.
I’ve always struggled to think on the same wavelength as everyone else… it never helped matters any that there are always a multitude of ways to tackle a question, yet somehow we’re always taught to focus only one single approach which limits our creativity…
in my struggles of finding the right wavelength all I have found is white noise. Perhaps the radio is broken or maybe I’m simply not listening. Who knows?
All I’ve taken away from this is that… if one were to give up on giving up, they would still have given up.
From henceforth I will dedicate myself to rote memorization and give up on learning by understanding.