We can forgive others, but can we forgive ourselves?
Oscar Wilde once said in no uncertain terms that, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” More often than not, we reluctantly accept the faults of our friends. Yet, we turn into an angry, tomato throwing, beet root red faced critic when we stare into the mirror. Why is that? What could possibly be so irredeemable about ourselves? I only wish that I knew.
In spite of being overly critical, it is wise to note that failure is the backbone of graduation for any self-respecting student. While not so much the funny bone but more the raw nerve failure is still a topic that should be discussed during relevant discourse.
Focusing on our failures, as surprising as it sounds, can be a cathartic release. Below this swollen vein lies our funny bone, the core of our humor. All we have to do is tap into it for inspiration. According to Rammstein, “deep waters don’t run still!” which is another way of saying that seemingly complicated problems are in fact quite simple in nature and have nothing interesting to offer.
Appearance should not be the yardstick to judge others by. What may seem innocuous at first could turn out to be deadly: A wolverine for example, appears to be cute and cuddly at first sight, but make no mistake, it can steal food from a bear as well as take down a moose. Failure is not a wolverine. It doesn’t have Adamantium claws.
Good can come of bad. If not for the constant chattering of my classmates, I would never have been able to appreciate the soundness of mind I experience when I’m meditating below the waterfall of Buckethead’s music, all by myself.
Astounding is the human mind’s ability to forget! Trust, on the other hand, is quite another matter. Oscar Wilde also happened to say,”A true friend stabs you in the front”. Although that does sound like a mawkish line forever sentenced to second rate renditions of Julius Caesar with Brutus yelling the line to himself at the top of his lungs while he commits the unthinkable, it is an effective saying.
A real friend would, at the very least, check with you before doing something you frown upon. It is called common courtesy. I for one, believe that someone who gives others a heads up before wronging them has a good heart and an ambiguous-ambivalent character. There is nothing wrong with forgiving someone like that. No, I would go so far as to make it mandatory! Truthful-liars and honest hardworking hoodwinkers are a scarce breed of men, are they not?
Saving the best for last is something we should do more often. That way when whatever we look at seems hopeless and bleak, there will always be an UV ray of sun, a single solitary sliver of our soul, which will guide us on our way to self-acceptance.
Accordingly, a zen buddhist teaching seems fitting: Inner peace comes with accepting yourself and everything around you as they are. Friedrich Nietzsche knew this sensation to be ‘Amor Fati’.
Last but not least, Oscar Wile- Yes this is the third time I’m quoting him- imparted his wisdom to us by articulating thus,